Maxim 139.

One of the reasons why you find so few people who can carry on a rational and pleasing conversation is that there is hardly anyone who doesn’t think more about what he wants to say than about answering thoughtfully what has already been said to him.

The smartest and the most polite satisfy themselves by wearing what only appears to be an attentive face, whereas you can see in their eyes and minds that they’ve wandered far from what you’ve said, and that they feel an impatience to return to what they want to express, themselves.

Instead, we should consider that seeking so obviously to please ourselves is a foolish way to try and please or persuade others.  The art of listening well and responding with intelligence is one of the greatest perfections of conversation.

from Maxims of La Rocefoucauld
Editions Garnier

Englishing de la Rochefoucauld (The Art of Conversation)